Movies I Slept Through – Legendary

“Legendary” would be great if it was the only movie that ever existed.

Cal Chetney(Devon Graye) is picked ¬†on at school. He’s a bit of an outcast and only has one friend. So he make plans to get revenge on his tormentors… wait, no, that’s not right. He follows in the footsteps of father(dead man) and brother(John Cena) by joining his high school wrestling team.(Ugh)

Cal’s father and brother were both… legendary… wrestlers. Cal is far from it. He would ask his brother for help, but he hasn’t seen him much since his father passed away. So, he tracks his brother down and asks him for help. (That was easy enough.) His brother eventually agrees to take him on, but they hide it from their mother because that’s where the real rift exists.

Danny “I killed a Predator and so can you” Glover is the best part of the movie as the wise black mentor; only because he uses the word “whom” correctly, which is more than you expect from anyone in a WWE Studios movie.

The wrestling in the movie seems pretty legitimate, but, as with the other WWE Studios movies I’ve seen(“The Chaperone“; “Knucklehead“), there is absolutely nothing new in “Legendary”. It’s a bunch of middle of the road melodrama and there’s no real reason you should find yourself watching it.

“Legendary” is a lot like high school wrestling, it doesn’t do anything specific to offend you(aside from the spandex), but you still don’t want to spend two hours watching it. “Legenday” gets a Nap During.

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Movies I Slept Through – The Chaperone

“The Chaperone” is WWE Studios’ latest attempt to make it’s already perceived as dumb audience even dumber. (For the record, I count myself among them)

“The Chaperone” stars Paul “Triple H” Levesque as Ray Bradstone, a reformed wheel man for a group of bank robbers who gets out of prison and just wants to make things right with his daughter. He’s turned a new leaf and the last thing he wants is to run into his old bank robbing buddy(Kevin “Oh, THAT guy” Corrigan).

Ray quickly finds himself in a bad situation. His wife has moved on, and his now teenage daughter wants nothing to do with him. So he does what any completely reformed criminal would do, he agrees to be the wheel man for one last job. Oh, I forgot to mention, the reason he went to prison is these guys left him sitting in the car at a robbery while they went out the back.

While waiting for the guys to do their bank job, Ray sees his daughter’s bus loading up to go on a field trip. He ditches the robbers and hops on the school bus to be a chaperone. Then the guys come out of the bank, but the cops are coming so they run and the bag full of money ends up in the bus’s luggage. From this point on it’s a cops chasing Ray and the bank robbers and the bank robbers chasing Ray and the Ray trying to mend things with his daughter and his daughter trying to get this boy to notice her. (I know that’s a poorly constructed paragraph, but it’s a poorly constructed movie so blame the WWE.)

“The Chaperone” is like “Mr. Nanny” meets “Con Air” meets “The Town” meets “Bushwacked” meets “Point Break” meets “The Gameplan” meets “Roadhouse.” In other words, it doesn’t know what the crap it’s supposed to be.

I did learn one thing from this movie and that is the word chaperone only has one “r” in it… so that’s something. Since it is a middle of the road family movie that won’t offend anyone and has just a tiny(and I mean tiny) smidgeon of something for everyone, I can’t quite give “The Chaperone” a coma. Put this on with your family and just Sleep Throughout, but only if you have to.