Movies I Slept Through – Black Swan

“Black Swan” is about Nina, a ballerina that goes black and doesn’t go back.

Natalie “I Wanna F*ck You Too” Portman plays Nina Sayers, an up and coming ballerina who is a bit of a perfectionist. She can dance technically great, but when it comes to letting go and dancing through instinct she has a few issues.(Isn’t that because she’s white?)

After the No MILFs Allowed Ballet Company kicks out their aging star(Winona Ryder), the lead role in Swan Lake is up for grabs. Thomas(Vincent Cassel), the head of the company, knows Nina is perfect for the role of the white swan, but will have trouble with the black. He tries every thing known to man to get a woman to loosen up: verbal abuse, sexual assault, having sex with one of her friends. Eventually, she does start to let go and gives into her darker impulses.

Darren Aronofsky directed this movie with the grace and precision expected of the subjects. (Someone has to have said that by now, right? I’m leaving it anyway.) He gets nice performances from all of the actors and much like “The Wrestler,” you don’t have to be a big fan of the subject matter to enjoy “Black Swan.” It may even cause you to find a new appreciation for the ballet or lesbians for that matter.

I stayed awake through this entire movie because I didn’t want to miss the sexual scenes between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. It wasn’t as great as I had imagined in my head, but I couldn’t have expected that from a rated R movie. I give “Black Swan” a Coffee.

Also, someone remind me to start a ballerina company in the future. It’s like a farm for young girls that want to do anything to please you.


Movies I Slept Through – The Book of Eli

“The Book of Eli” stars Denzel Washington as a man named Eli who has a book and is also the first black man to survive the apocalypse.

“The Book of Eli” stars Denzel Washington as Eli, your classic postapocalyptic badass who says he isn’t looking for trouble, but always seems to find exactly that.  He’s on a mission from God . He doesn’t have a specific destination, rather he travels by faith.

So, like Fievel, he goes West. Along the way he wanders into a town, meets a hot chick(Mila Kunis) and runs afoul of a powerful leader(Gary Oldman) all while kicking serious ass. We’re not sure exactly how long ago the world was destroyed. At one point, Eli says he’s been wandering for 30 years, but judging by the charge on his mp3 player I say it’s just over 7 hours.

“The Book of Eli” is a lot of fun. The fight scenes are well executed, especially the one done in silhouette near the beginning. Denzel Washington is still a badass and Gary Oldman is a great counter as a power hungry book collector(Nerdiest villain ever?). There’s a weird twist in the last part, and things teeter off even more at the very end. Overall “The Book of Eli” wants to make the audience say, “Wow, that was pretty cool,” and is successful. This one gets a Doze Off.