:00 – Ok, based on the name, this had better be a follow up to “Coach Carter.”
:07 – Not even close.
:08 – Cool, gladiators!
:13 – Oh… alien gladiators?
Gambit’s Riggins’s hair sure does look ni… look out!
:32 – Why is that thing’s blood blue?
:33 – Oh…
:46 – Right, the great John Carter of Earth. I like that the author didn’t bother to give the other planet traveling guy a cool name. If I were writing this he’d be named Spec Algernon.
:54 – Oh wow. Is that the song from the Godzilla soundtrack? They probably chose it to add a little class to the whole piece.
:55 – Oh, great, now it’s going to be stuck in my head for the next week.
:56 – “Look at how many forearms I have!”
1:08 – I’m glad Powder finally found a place that will accept him.
1:20 – Yes green man, he is beautiful. I think that has been established.
1:31 – FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMM
1:45 – This planetary civil war had better not be an allegory for anything or I’m gonna get angry.
1:46 – If Riggins can get that much air I can only imagine what a black dude could do on this planet.
Here’s the IMDB summary of the plot:
“Transplanted to Mars, a Civil War vet discovers a lush planet inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter a princess who is in desperate need of a savior.”
Yeah… that’s exactly what I got from that trailer?
I figure this movie will do pretty well. Topless Taylor Kitsch + Disney + Don’t-Know-Any-Better-Sci-Fi-Kids = $.
I look forward to sleeping through his inspiring speeches the most.