Break It Down – Goon Trailer

I have a feeling Kevin Smith is a little pissed about this movie since he’s planning a hockey movie of his own. If it’s a bomb it’ll be like Gili/Jersey Girl all over again.

0:04 – Not even to anything yet and I feel like it’s not going to be as good as Slap Shot. *sigh*

0:17 – Aw, Sean William Scott is so lonely.

0:19 – Glad to see that guy. I never learned his name, but he was acceptable as the Stephen in Undeclared. And, yes, I am too lazy to check IMDB. Some of us have jobs to do people.

0:30 – “I’m a fighter, not a lover.”

0:51 – Man, 69, so great. What a funny number. You see, it’s funny because there’s a sexual position in which… oh, you already know? Oh, you’ve known for like 17 years? I guess we should make that joke anymore, huh? I guess it’d be ok to make that joke, but if I were to make a movie I definitely wouldn’t put it in the trailer. Is this supposed to be a selling point? Hey, you remember that joke you were kinda too young to get in Billy Madison, but then found it funny as you got older? Here it is again except you didn’t grow up with it and so it’s not funny now. Hey, look, a movie trailer!

1:05 – Oh, I see, he said, “No glory holes here tonight.” You see, a glory hole is a sexual… wait, didn’t we just do this?

1:28 – Not gonna lie… I know it’s all fighting and sex jokes so far, but I’m already kinda bored.

1:33 – Oh, more sex and violence.

1:38 – Really Liev Schreiber?

1:47 – This movie had better climax with a time where it gets down to these two or I’m gonna be angry.

2:15 – I’m legitimately surprised they didn’t make a black guy playing hockey joke there… I definitely would have…

I’m a sucker for sports movies. Really, I’m a sucker for all movies, but I remember a B.S. Report last year where Bill Simmons pitched a movie idea similar to this, but directed by Jason Reitman. Man, I wish I lived in that world.